Hey there, it’s been a while. A lot has happened. I think I grew 3 centimetres. I also somehow managed to smash out my second year of university. And now it’s 2018. My New Years have always been characterised by an endless list of resolutions that are almost always unattainable and impossible to fulfil. Think along the lines of ‘get fit’ and ‘stop blowing your weekly budget on cheese and coffee alone.’ But this year is different. I’m pretty determined to make it different.
I learnt a lot of things in 2017. I learnt some hard lessons about love, the human heart and that listening to Sam Smith will NOT help you in any situation unless that situation is crying on your train to work. But I also learnt some important lessons about resilience, inner-strength, how putting quince paste on cheese is life-changing and that no matter what, you can always get through whatever is thrown your way. I know this sounds like the sequel to ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ but this is cathartic for me (also it’s my new years resolution to write more).
So this year is a follow up on those lessons.
The resolution that sits at the very the top of my long list of things to work on is self-love. I originally thought self-love was yelling “treat-yo-self!” in a changing room even though the weekly budget was already blown out of proportion two days after getting paid. But that’s not loving myself, that’s just adding to an Afterpay debt that quite honestly, my grandchildren will be paying off.
Self-love is about making decisions that often dosen’t come easy. Putting yourself first doesn’t make you selfish, it means you value yourself. Putting yourself first might mean ending relationships with negative or emotionally draining people. It might mean to you, going for a run in the afternoon when the walls are closing in, instead of pressing next episode on ‘Netflix.’ It means turning your phone off and having a moment of quiet after a day of being constantly connected.
This year, I need to figure out how to love myself for who I am.
Everyone has flaws. Mine include an unhealthy spending habit concerning books, caramel lattes and brie cheese, avoiding pressing priorities and being too hard on myself. I need to stop setting these insane expectations whether it be about university, friendships, my appearance or how quickly I can ‘deal’ with issues. Moving forward means acknowledging that sometimes I am gonna stuff up. I’m going to buy coffees instead of budgeting like I promised my mum I was going to do. I’m going to hit snooze on my alarm. I’m going to cry. And I gotta realise that’s okay. Because, ultimately, its okay to not be okay.
Recognising that mental health is important is a vital aspect of moving forward. Sometimes, you might feel anxious, upset or sad. That doesn’t mean you should create a Tumblr account and start reposting black and white photos of people crying. It means that you’re human. It’s normal. So, so normal. Don’t beat yourself up.
New Year New Bee is in full effect now. Day 5, and I’m mostly killing it.
So, with 19 resolutions written (and only two of them misspelled) I think I can make 2018 my year. I’m reading my favourite books again. I started a ‘vegetable of the week’ segment on snapchat to promote healthy eating and puns about food. I am patting dogs that don’t belong to me. I can do this. I mean, anything is possible when you’re caffeinated and motivated.